By A.M. Rosenthal
(Columnist and former Executive
Editor of the New York Times)
[Editor's note: This leaked document
was apparently written for a student who had expressed an interest in working
for the New York Times, without the usual training, education, or experience.
Friends of A.M. Rosenthal, who requested anonymity, said it was written
in response to a request by former Senator Bob Dole. However, sources familiar
with the person for whom the article was written claim that Mr. Rosenthal
wrote the article for a friend of Bill Clinton. At this allegation, the
anonymous friends grew agitated, and challenged the familiar sources to
"step outside, so we can settle this like insiders". The familiar sources
pulled out a knife, and when several high-ranking officials tried to intervene,
they were mortally wounded.]
I'm
glad you came to me first; God knows how many columnists get asked advice
and say all manner of stupid things. Why, when I was editor, if people
-- paid columnists! -- had given out the kind of advice I hear on a daily
basis... Well, let's just say they'd have been unceremoniously shot out
on 43rd St.
So you'd like to be a foreign correspondent? A wise move! Adventure! Excitement! A warm bath in a luxurious hotel in Jakarta, while servants massage your weary feet and serve you tea and croissants!
Of course, the first thing you have to remember, when you find your little country, is where the US embassy is. This is always a good place to get the unbiased American opinion on whatever little squabble the natives happen to be having at the moment. Once you have the facts, you can then go take some pictures, and maybe interview some of the local officials and get some good quotes if you have time.
This brings me to the next point: don't forget about the division of labor! I've seen many a young journalist go out into the world, struggle for weeks or months to get some story, and come back only to find it cut from the paper, replaced by something thrown together in a couple of hours. The lesson? You don't need to repeat what other people are doing. Many countries have contracted with public relations firms. These agencies will actually do the research and write press releases that look just like real newspaper articles. Why repeat their work? The smart journalist finds the relevant press releases first, splices pieces of each together, and has his entire day's work done before 11 AM. It would be nice if every journalist had the time to do his own research, but then it would be nice if Jesus Christ came to Earth tomorrow. We have to be realistic!
Keep a thesaurus handy, so your descriptions of foreign leaders will not sound biased. A good guide to objective descriptions of foreign leaders can be found at the State Department. But check back with the State Department often, because their current opinions won't last forever. I mean, I wish the State Department just decided once and for all which political leaders it wanted in these little countries and which it didn't, but I also wish that the North Koreans, Iraqis, Iranians (oh, wait, no, not Iranians), Syrians, and Cubans would stop eavesdropping on my phone calls and following my wife on her way to the beauty parlor. Some things just won't happen!
Don't be afraid to spice up your stories. Nothing gets you on Back Page Territory faster than bland stories about countries nobody ever heard of. I mean, where is Belize? Who cares? No, if you get an assignment in some little country, you have to put your country on the map. Sometimes you just have to speculate.
It's not important that you're the first to report on what's happening; what's important is that you be the first to write about the subject in general. The person who reports a year before it happens that certain people might be doing this or that has already scooped the person who waits until it happens. And if it never happens? Well, who's going to comb through last year's paper looking for things that never happened? Dear God, if we all waited until things happened, we'd never get around to reporting any of them! I'd like to see firsthand the things I report, but I'd also like to have the aliens remove that strange device from behind my ear!
Try to figure out the story behind the story. Sometimes the "facts" suggest one thing, but the truth is quite different. If you're confused, the American ambassador can usually explain what's really going on. Sometimes you have to interpret things you hear or see to reveal what the motivations are behind them; again, check with the ambassador before you write the story.
New reporters in little Third World
countries often hear so much anti-American propaganda that they start to
believe it. Watch out for this! Remember that most American political leaders
are more experienced than you, and things which seem reasonable to a green
reporter may not be to a seasoned government official. A good guideline
in judging whether your article will seem biased or not is this:
If America were run by a benevolent
but touchy military dictator, would your article be censored? If yes, then
you should probably try to get some more quotes from American officials.
Don't report your sources! This is the single most common mistake made by beginning journalists. Nothing says "I'm an important story" like the words "a source who requested anonymity." Doesn't that sound dangerous? Doesn't it sound like there's something really important going on? Even if your source didn't request anonymity, you should give it to him anyway, for these reasons:
1. It makes the source and the story sound very important, even if they're not. I mean, if you had known that Henry Kissinger was "Deep Throat", would Watergate have been as much fun?
2. It prevents your competitors from finding out your information. It would be great if, as the hippies believe, journalism was all about giving people information. But this is the real world, and in the real world, your job depends on you getting people to read your paper and not the other guy's. Otherwise, we might as well give away the paper for free!
3. If you're really skilled, you can even make up quotes when you don't have time to obtain real ones. Who hasn't been in the situation of needing another quote just a few minutes before deadline? And it can be hard to think of names, especially when you're in some crazy country like Uganda where the people speak funny and names are almost unpronounceable. In such a situation, a "high-ranking Ugandan diplomat who spoke on condition of anonymity" is your best friend.
Now, some naïve journalists say things like, "Won't writing stories about things that haven?t happened and making up quotes from people who don't exist undermine my credibility?" Well, boy, it might if you were working at the Niskayuna Gazette, but this is the New York Times! We put the "credible" in "incredible"! We put the "believable" in "unbelievable"! We put the "objectivity" in "complete and total lack of objectivity"!
There is, of course, much more that
you will learn from experience. Below are two articles about some events
in little Ecuador; the one on the left comes from some Communists in some
French newspaper, while the one on the right is from the New York Times.
Just remember: what's right is right, but what's left is wrong. See if
you can spot all the mistakes made in the one on the left.
Final note: OK, so old Abe Rosenthal
didn't actually write this. The writing style of the A.M. Rosenthal character
above is actually a composite of the real A.M. Rosenthal's style, our own
Polity Senator Frank Santangelo's style, and that of the real author, local
socialist Press staff writer, Stephen Preston.
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In a surprising escalation of hostilities, President Bill Clinton has ordered American gunships to blockade the small South American country of Ecuador. The reason is Ecuador's recent decision to sell its shrimp directly to Europeans, instead of through American corporations. The Ecuadoran government announced the decision as an attempt to generate more money for the shrimp farmers, who had been suffering the effects of recession. The government had been criticized by influential newspapers in Quito for being too closely associated with American business. The American government claimed that Ecuador was backing out of its trade obligations with the United States, and it claimed to be enforcing contracts between Ecuadoran suppliers and American corporations such as Aurora Foods. In a press statement, Vice President Al Gore said, "We cannot allow these obvious violations of trade agreements between our two nations. We are all for free trade, but we must also have fair trade, especially in the very important shrimp industry. Where would our great nation be without the 'fruit of the sea'? Why, there'd be no shrimp-kabobs, shrimp creole, shrimp gumbo; pan-fried, deep-fried, or stir-fried shrimp; no pineapple shrimp, lemon shrimp, coconut shrimp, pepper shrimp, shrimp soup, shrimp stew, shrimp salad, shrimp and potatoes, shrimp burger, or even shrimp sandwiches!" Ecuadoran President Jamil Mahuad said in a press conference today, "We really can't understand why the United States would take this issue so seriously. We have already offered to reinstate all shrimp agreements, but the Secretary of State has declared that she will not negotiate with us. Our only hope to prevent a full invasion is through the UN Security Council, which is currently holding an emergency meeting to discuss the situation. We are hoping that all the shrimp-lovers of the world will unite in condemning this act of blatant aggression." Ecuadoran shrimp-farmers, who feel they have generally have been on good terms with the American corporations, are puzzled by the invasion. Carlos San Martín, a farmer with four children, said "I fear for the safety of my family. Why would they threaten us, over some tiny animals? But I will defend my country." |
High-ranking officials at the U.S. State Department today announced that due to increasing concerns over human rights violations in Ecuador, President Clinton has authorized American troops to go to Ecuador as a peacekeeping force. According to the officials, who declined to be identified, the source of the concerns was over the Ecuadoran government's treatment of local shrimp farmers. "The President feels that the human rights abuses there have to be dealt with firmly and severely. Unfortunately, it seems, the only language the Ecuadorans understand is force." One official stated that the targeting of shrimp farmers there was particularly offensive, saying, "Where would our great nation be without the 'fruit of the sea'?", the term Ecuadoran shrimp farmers use to describe their harvest. Hard-line Ecuadoran ruler Jamil Mahuad said in a statement today that he did not know "why the United States would take this issue so seriously." But he said he would go to the United Nations to try to prevent any action from being taken. The UN has traditionally been used by leaders such as Slobodan Milosevic and Saddam Hussein to frustrate American attempts at enforcing human rights, according to one Western diplomat. "Many of the nations in the UN have anti-American attitudes, and others see their own interests as being more important than such abstractions as human rights." Europe, for example, is interested in lucrative shrimp contracts with the Ecuadoran government, and may try to undercut US efforts there, said the diplomat. It is not yet known how many troops would be sent, or whether there might be a substantial risk to American soldiers. Pentagon officials have promised that most of the attacks on the country, if they prove necessary, will be based off-shore, and that a ground force would only be used if absolutely necessary. Ecuadorans seem to be hopeful that the Americans will be able to prevent any further atrocities. One Ecuadoran, who works in a hotel and asked not to be identified for fear of retribution, said, "I'm very glad the Americans are here. The Ecuadoran government has given us little, but the Americans are always far more generous. Right, señor?" |